


A Friendly Desert Community

by Freckles_From_Brooklyn



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: I desperately want a Night Vale/The Magnus Archives crossover, crossover fic, written in the style of the earlier Magnus Archives episodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28083987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckles_From_Brooklyn/pseuds/Freckles_From_Brooklyn
Summary: Statement of Diana Wright, regarding her experiences growing up in a town called Night Vale, U.S.A.
Kudos: 40





	A Friendly Desert Community

Statement of Diana Wright, regarding her experiences growing up in a town called Night Vale, U.S.A. Original statement given June fifteenth, two thousand and twelve. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. 

Statement begins.

“I don’t know if I’m really supposed to be here talking to you. I doubt there’s much you can do about this, but to be totally honest, I just need to tell someone about the place I grew up because it was not normal. Dear god, it was not normal. I’ve never told anyone about it before because I knew no one would believe me, but I heard some people talking about you guys in the comics shop I work at. They said you deal with weird stuff, and I figured if anyone was gonna take me seriously, it would be you guys. I grew up in a town called Night Vale. It’s in the United States. I’m sorry, I can’t give you much more information than that. I don’t even know what state this town was in, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to weirdness. I know Night Vale was somewhere in the southwest part of America. Arizona, maybe, or New Mexico. It was smack dab in the middle of the desert. We had a harbor waterfront and recreation area. It was called the Night Vale Harbor Waterfront and Recreation Area. Yeah, we weren’t the best at naming things. That’s not necessarily the weird part, though. The weird part wasn’t even the fact that there was no water at the waterfront and recreation area. I mean, we were in the middle of the desert. The weird part is the fact that the thing was built in the first place. I mean, someone approved this project and sank millions of taxpayer dollars into it. It was probably the city council who approved the damn thing. City Council… I don’t even know where to start with City Council. It was some sort of hive mind, I think? No one ever saw it, and I don’t think anyone really wanted to, but it was pretty corrupt and prone to taking vacations at really inopportune times. Seriously, they were always on vacation. Old Woman Josie, who lived out near the car lot, lived with a bunch of angels. Except, technically she didn’t, because angels were illegal and didn’t exist, according to the city council. If you were caught acknowledging their existence, you’d get rounded up by the Sheriff’s Secret Police and taken for re-education. That’s another thing. The Sheriff’s Secret Police. They were scary, but generally incompetent. There was a miniature city under the pin retrieval area of lane five of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. There was once a glowing cloud that dropped a bunch of animal corpses on the town, and then for some reason, it became the president of the school board. Don’t know how that happened or who thought it was a good idea. There was a literal five-headed dragon running the town for a while. His name was Hiram McDaniels and he ran for mayor. And his opponent was The Faceless Old Woman who Secretly Lives in Your Home. She’s pretty self-explanatory, I think. There was a guy, John Peters, You Know, The Farmer? who grew imaginary corn. There’s a lot more weird stuff, but I think I’ve gone on long enough. Like I said, I don’t expect you guys to be able to do much about it, but I needed to tell someone about this.”

Statement ends. 

This story is certainly interesting, but most likely pure fiction. I put Tim and Sasha to work on it, as I’m sure Martin would be utterly useless. Sasha couldn’t find anything about a town called Night Vale online. Tim somehow managed to get someone from the United States Government on the phone, but when he asked about Night Vale, he was told that no such town exists, and was threatened with arrest, as no one was supposed to be able to get ahold of that number. If this town does exist, it would certainly be among the most scientifically interesting community in the United States. If it exists.

Recording ends.


End file.
